Bpd ex reddit

Bpd ex reddit. Yes, they do. Hey guys, to start this im a 23 year old guy from germany, my Ex girlfriend is 32. It would be disingenuous of me as I still have One difference with reality is that many people with BPD lose all their friends. Breakups when you have bpd are excruciating. We were together for two years. When we were in LC she didn't seem overly interested in me Ex girlfriends fake identity. Im a good person who did a very bad thing I broke up with her near this time in an awful way I left her with a jacket of mine while we On my ex bio she put on the page the initials off her new partner along with a heart and baby emoji and note saying baby due November 2020. Hi there guys, So I’ve been in a relationship with a girl that has BPD for about nearly two years but we have broken up. Hello everyone, this is the first time I'm posting and I'd like to ask for your advice. I believe her mother was as well. Recruit your friends and family to help you with no contact. For the past 10 days she knows I truly do love her. He’s has a history of blocking unblocking me, being verbally abusive etc. Someone who attaches quickly will disattach just as quickly. For a TV show, audiences like recurring characters. The obsession with you could last for years, in some cases forever. Now I broke up with her I feel as empty as a BPD person would do. So I guess yes, they come back. I help her. The codependent handles the breakup according to their ambition. This dynamic isn't unique to BPD, it is part of many kind of toxic relationships, and the push-pull itself is what makes it so hard to end this. They were wrong. I am seeking advice from someone who understands BPD, PTSD, or DID. They'll keep coming back until all points of entry are sealed off by you. I saw him once when he drove my ex to my home. 5 months into our 3rd (and hopefully, last) extended breakup, also initiated by me. I assume that they have broken up after checking her social media accounts which she just now unblocked me on. Not sure what i want from this, maybe advice, maybe just someone to talk to as my ex was that person to me and now she is gone from my life. Then when your relationship seems to be at it's best and most emotionally intimate, she will ghost again. We were LC with me initiating brief messages until such time as I gave up. It's almost a year now. Sorry you went through this. No I agree 100%, I’m also diagnosed with BPD and the breakup with my ex and fp sent me straight to a psychiatric facility for treatment. She has the power of choice; she can choose to have you as a partner or not, same as you are currently choosing to attach your feelings of love to her personhood. will get better quickly when they change the environment/ avoid triggers. She contacts me. r/BPDlovedones. If you are thinking about this don't, The abuse is 10x worse and in my Maybe he is just extremely paranoid based on your observations of his mental problems and he is coming by to see if she is there. Sort by: I feel you man, I’m still trying to get over my ex who had pretty bad BPD and thru all of the shit she put me through, all I can remember are the really great moments we shared. 💭Seeking Support & Advice. Independent of BPD, the honeymoon phase of any relationship lasts an average of 6 months. I don’t want her back, but it still makes me feel sick to my stomach Why is my BPD ex stalking me? Now, she’s caused me an immense amount of suffering. Uncoupling Journey. It explains a lot. It’s a disorder that seeks relationships, but it doesn’t grasp the dynamics and limits of healthy A month is actually a long time. I can not let go the idea of seriously hurt him. Now, after months of NC, she contacts me with a brief, but loving message checking up to see how I am going. Missing your ex that had BPD? It’s because you weren’t with them long enough to become truly sick of the dysfunction and abuse. This subreddit is an abuse support forum. If someone has BPD, their inner turmoil is so great to begin with - the idea that they will never be able to change themselves (which some say is the case because it is a personality disorder) would be absolutely devastating and likely alot of them would act on that, knowing that their diagnosis is “hopeless”. 5. I think I've read that 40% of people cheat, from all types of backgrounds, for all types of reasons. "she has quiet BPD. Crypto a) in treatment. I am struggling to decipher the truth from my ex girlfriend who has BPD and PTSD and maybe DID. You hit the jackpot plenty of people didn’t, you’ve got a chance at a normal life with a normal person. It went on several times. They internalize the torture of their own fears, insecurities and issues. She went cold and no contact on me, and said we’re broken up for good. I back off. 5 months of relationship. I stalked him relentlessly, triggered myself over and over again and experienced suicidal breakdowns each time he updated his socials or his friends did. 1. BPD devalue / discard cycle pattern. Is it possible to have PTSD after dating a person with BPD? Dated for 3 years. Support Needed. I've read how personality disordered individuals wear masks and change their personalities depending on the audience. , puberty, pregnancy, postpartum, severe PMS, or perimenopause. What they suspected us of. Saw my BPD Ex with their new boyfriend 6 weeks after breakup. BPD isn’t an ‘aw it’s so endearing that they need me so badly’ type of thing. Whether she realizes it or not, shes till emotionally connected. I am writing this as my last hope for consolidation and comfort and maybe find answers or some hope. She gets into a new relationship. The idea that people with BPD cheat more than others is a myth. want hurt the man my BPD ex cheated on. When a kid is involved, it complicates things. We are currently 3. Because I promise of you do, it’s going to get worse and worse. You have nothing to be jealous of for anyone who comes after you. The reality of BPD. They make new friends, and lose them too. You should get away from her because you deserve better. b) are the treatment effective enough for healthy and close interpersonal relationship. I was out on a date (midnight) and got a call and bunch of texts saying she’s sorry, wants to be friends and doesn’t ever want me out of her life. If they have a new supply they won't care. I would have killed to be able to handle it like this person did. Don't mess with a pwBPD. If she wants to reach out, you let her but you're not obligated to be her friend either. I want to hurt him badly. Even though I have good control over my emotions and am quite a calm guy. Do what is best for you at this point. Good video. I'm wondering if anyone here has joint custody of children with an ex with BPD? What has helped you maintain your sanity while keeping the child's best interest at the center of decision making? Start journaling - from the beginning if possible. They frequently start dating other people before an official breakup. 6. With that can come hoovering, stalking, smear-campaigns etc. The BPD can't then admit to the shameful act and break up with the non as this would enforce their shame and remove them from the position of the victim. Letter/Note. From someone who has stayed friends with my BPD ex, RUN. And she helped diagnose my ex w BPD as an avoidant. She texted me yesterday and I read the preview of the . You all are great and Found out my ex gf with BPD is already dating someone new after a month apart. I talked to my therapist, and he suggested giving my boyfriend a couple more days to calm down. Hence why they sometimes reach back months or years later. Being with (romantic or otherwise) someone with BPD isn’t akin to taking care of a pet. Both breakups were initiated by me. Now in three years with my bpd ex we was having unprotected sex and apart from two scares she didn't get pregnant. Instead, a lot of discourse on this subreddit focuses on the morality of their pwBPD. I can't forget his face and smile. Endured it for years thinking it was my fault and I would constantly try to improve only to be berated and beaten down just like this text thread. But I assume you have reason to go no contact. Subsequently, they push/bait the non to react badly Need help with my on/off relationship with my BPD (ex) girlfriend. The latter will reject them and improve their lives. BPD is a mental illness that is a In essence, she always has hate for you and resentments towards you. After 18 months of dating, my girlfriend came clean to me that most of her identity before our relationship was a complete Understanding my ex. Hi all, Sorry for the long post, i have alot on my mind. No one deserves to be cheated on. Eventually, and after a lot of reading and research, I created a summary for my own benefit, explaining how to make sense of BPD behaviors for us laypersons. I have done everything to show how much she really means to me and she is not just another girl. A month is good timing if she wasn’t actually already using tinder before the breakup, But they can’t sit by themselves for too long. I don't know why I did it, but I felt as though I wanted to see what she has been up to as it has been 4 Weeks NC since the breakup. Getting ready to leave. I am still 100% behind my decision to break up, but it hurts like hell to see her being all ‘happy’ and flirty with their new boyfriend/supply while I’m still trying to put all my broken pieces together. Yes because they tend to attach to you more superficially, which mean disattaching isn't such a problem. Most occurrences of strong BPD traits you see in other people, Trip, are not caused by lifetime BPD. Why and when BPDs push-pull? They have issues, big issues, and are incapable of facing them, because their own fears of abandonment blind them from their issues. It’s up to you to let them in, though. Just have to vent. It is not healthy for you. She has a great body, pretty face, a bit doll like and she seemed very sweet at first. This relationship will get worse and worse the more you let it keep happening. I reached out to my ex who I am positive has BPD through talking out the situations that came about with my counselor. Secondly, do not suppress your feelings. It's hell. g. •. My advice keep NC and block her on everything on your side. All the time. I broke up with her a little over a month ago and made the mistake of unblocking her today and saw pictures of a new guy she’s dating. My BPD ex won and successfully ruined my life. "Borderline Personality Disorder is perhaps the greatest paradox in the Analects of human psychology. Strong suspicion that my long-term ex was bpd. Thoughts about that person just cycle over and over and over in the brain. I loved her, the breakup affected me really bad mentally, and she was horrible to me during the break up, blocked me etc. These flareups usually are caused by a strong hormone change -- e. I don't feel revenge to my BPD ex though because of her mental health problem C-PTSD and stuff. Be forewarned that when you move on to a new relationship, there is a good chance she will stalk your new gf. I have fought for this woman, even after she randomly broke it off with me. You can try focusing on the present moment, day by day, trying to find something that gives you joy or at least keeps you a little distracted. Perhaps how many others there were and where you ranked among them. I have 7 years of constant exposure to this behavior if you guys want to hear anymore. Temporary BPD flareups. Don't excuse her shitty behaviour just because she has BPD. On the chance they don't have another victim lined up, it will bother them and they will try and find a way to contact you and lure you in just enough until they can secure a new supply. 2. I don’t know which side to believe". It means that I need time to separate myself from socializing and protect my wellbeing and mental health. Hope this gives some comfort to some people out there. It seems like most BPD behaviors are described in extreme point of views, either downplayed with sympathy on one side (usually from pwBPD) or demonized and ridiculed on the far other side (from victims of BPD). Its best just to ignore. Advice for Getting Over My Ex with BPD. She broke up with me and got together with someone else almost immediately. She cheated because she lacks morality. When you start feeling bad for him, re-read them as many times as possible. Understand them. Don’t know what… r/BPD is a community of people with BPD (EUPD) and people who know someone with BPD looking for mutual support and resources to help guide them through their journey. r/BPD is a community of people with BPD (EUPD) and people who know someone with BPD looking for mutual support and resources to help guide them through their journey. GameStop Moderna Pfizer Johnson & Johnson AstraZeneca Walgreens Best Buy Novavax SpaceX Tesla. Reply. Should i reach out to ex pwBPD? Things didn't end well and I basically cut her off afterwards. Anyway she rings me about a week ago impulsively and breaks it off, this had happened before so I tried to calm her down and told her to think about her decision but told her we should talk in person. this is something that been on my mind today, I see people talking crap about their ex who have BPD (they are abusive, manipulative. First, she dumped all her emotions on me and I felt miserable. Knowing about her BPD is your big advantage. "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). I will always love you forever, go live your life". BPD ex says "I need space. now shes texting me saying that she misses I read a book about managing BPD as soon as her mother was diagnosed with BPD, and she really does have every single classical symptom of BPD to the extent that she is also extremely narcissistic at the same time. Her recollections are fairly balanced. 22 votes, 22 comments. Leaving first means abandonment to them, re-opening deep trauma wounds from the past. It's almost like I need to fill that void by craving for intimacy and sex. Rinse and repeat until infinity. If she's truly BPD, just wait a while. I made a big mistake of dating this girl (18) who ran away from her home and I took care of her during that time. Instead, they are only temporary flareups of the normal BPD traits we all have. Have I picked up the traits of my BPD ex. If someone completely loses interest in a partner around 6 months, they were probably more in love with an idealized version of the relationship. If you don’t get the hoover like i did, be thankful ; you have won. etc) It's like alright those are ur feelings and you are VALID to have them and express it, but your ex who have BPD MOVED ON from Triggers that make a BPD ex contact you. Hoover is part of the push-pull dynamics. She breaks up with a guy. Eventually our relationship degraded to a fwb relationship where the last straw I found out I was the other guy who was the other guy to the guy. Story of my life with my BPD ex-girlfriend. BPD Behaviors & Traits. the decision was come to due to both of our mental health deteriorating and would only get worse. Cheating is not a symptom of BPD and never has been. Long story short, we got into a relationship after she suggested so after we’d been ‘seeing’ each other for 3-4 months. She tells me im her only emotional safe place but she then leaves after 1/4 days. This is how severe BPD really is. ADMIN MOD. The dust has settled. The validation, any validation is needed. Yes, she unblocked me two months after the discard. Why they lied, cheated, ignored us, etc. Reached out to my Ex. So far, during this current NC, I received a couple of Some of them come back and will tell you exactly what you want to hear, how they reconized your worth, how they have been thinking about you, how they felt miserable for the amount of time they were in the honeymoon stage with somebody else and many more of those beautiful lies. It's a real moment where they can choose to persist in their destructive lifestyle, or take steps to educate themselves and move past it. r/BPDPartners: This is a reddit community to welcome all who have a relationship (platonic, romantic or family) with someone suffering from BPD. I broke up with my bpd ex almost one year ago we were long distance Close to this day. $40K in her pre-marital debt. They look for any attention and even bad attention like a restraining order is still attention. Mine hasn't given up for 3. My ex BPD also comes to my house to try and talk to me. Me and my bpd ex broke up about exactly a year ago. I was cheated on after 11 years of marriage by a perfectly NT guy. during that runaway from her home I was put under the most extreme pressure mentally "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). CLOSURE from a BPD ex. Not because they don't actually move on. don't drag and shit talk your ex who have BPD, just move on! Venting. If you are going to stay no-contact, don't give them a glimmer of hope. Every now and then she would become more of the “witch” type which was volite, unpredictable and aggressive, all BPD types turn into the “witch After a year of arguing and trauma, my pwbpd ex decided he wanted to end things between us. My ex-girlfriend with BPD broke up with me a month ago and it was a very tough experience for me as I didn't see it coming at all. In her life its nearing an extremely traumatic event that happened to her a year prior in 2019 that she herself experienced. What they were feeling. Anyway I'm kind of rambling, just wanted to get that off my chest and see if anyone had similar experiences. Just stay at 0% and don't give in. I wrote a post a few days ago about my BPD ex removing me from her life and ultimately acting like I dont exist. She wants my friendship, but I just can't give it to her. They don't know how to process it. The answer to a) and b) should assist you in assessing how healthy your interpersonal relationship is with someone who has BPD. Just when I didn’t need when I was already low, she got me addicted than chucked me away. They tend to return to exes because 1) they're already familiar with them so that saves the effort and time of meeting/grooming someone entirely new. If your ex like mine told you things along the lines of: “no one will love you like I did” or “you’ll end up in a loveless relationship”. All the usual BPD roller coaster of events horrific fights with amazing make ups that left me hopeful. We both met in April this year in a rehab clinic due to both of us detoxing of Valium. As while during the relationship, we were all over each other, after the breakup she claimed she felt ‘smothered and needed more independence’, which is prime avoidant Business, Economics, and Finance. Huge mistake. There are exceptions, like The Twilight Zone and other anthology shows, but for most scripted shows, people like seeing familiar characters. The first few months was absolutely amazing with her, I know all relationships start with that as the “honeymoon phase” and we were so in love with each My (M28) ex (F27) of 4 years dumped me for some crazy ass reason claiming I raped her (I clearly didn’t). I was trying to say I needed to go no contact because the lying/deception etc was hurting me and triggering memories of our relationship. 5 years so yes they are liable to do anything and it may go on a long time. I’m really struggling with what to do next. She has 0 friends because she does…. On way home, she flipped and threw her phone at me which broke and Did your BPDex become a totally different person? For me the scariest part of all was seeing my ex become a different person. That moment we all dream of. Make a clean break. 0. And she feels no remorse for that reason. Hey folks, I've posted here before early on after my ex of 13 years discarded me for someone else. It’s a disorder that craves love, but it doesn’t understand the meaning of mature love. Anyways she appeared to me very attractive. Rinse and repeat. You need to stop looking at his social media. But putting things together better My experience with my ex girlfriend with bpd. The former will return to a BPD ex if the opportunity arises. The problem comes back quickly in the old environments or under high stress. So that is one thing probably keeping him attached. Firstly, it's important to acknowledge your ex has the agency to choose what her life will be like. We do really love each other, so instead we came to the conclusion that we would Everybody gets filed away and stored for a later date. I just couldn't handle things (there's another post I made about this) I still care Posted by u/International_Ring12 - 1 vote and 3 comments I could not find an easy to understand description of BPD anywhere and I had a very hard time finding information to make sense of certain events in my life. Meanwhile, she's on dating sites trying to find new supply. BPD does something that triggers shame (cheats, lies etc), or they just want to leave the relationship. Once a relationship dynamic is established, it is hard to change - BPD or not. All her expenses and spending during the three year marriage (I make about $160K/yr, she did not work) At the end my saving were all gone and I was working overtime to cover expenses. I’d say that our great moments overshadowed our really shitty ones but she lied tremendously and overreacted to the smallest things but deep down I know In just 2. They always do. Cheating is an extreme that pwBPD could easily go to. A lot of it sounds like my ex too, especially with the best friend intertwining. There is nothing that can make the pain go away, but time really heals everything, even if now you feel like you’ll suffer forever. Unfortunately the same push/pull will continue. Foolishly, I went over to my BPD ex last week. Should you choose to reengage after a discard, know that "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). I (24M) had been with my pwBPD (28F) for almost 3 years as soon as things started to get serious about 1 month into the relationship she moved me out of my own apartment to live with her and her parents. Interacting with that person sends me into mixed emotions and it isn't good for the person or I to be interacting. At the time I opened back up a bit and told her I still had feelings. What everybody knows is: 1. Has anyone else’s BPD ex not immediately replaced them and stayed single for a significant period of time after your breakup? She has bpd. She has BPD and has had a few episodes and threatened to breakup with me in the past over minor instances but overall i wouldnt BPD and Stalking Behaviors. Don not stay friends with them. MembersOnline. Unlike your partner she was quiet devoted to her husband and children, how ever she was always the “waif” type, generally depressed, always helpless, always desperate, and incredibly needy. Addicts or people with mental health issues etc. But also, they bring everything back with them and sometimes it much worse then when they left. We ended up having sex, going out etc. They're ready to reveal all. Every 4-5 months - boom! hoover incoming. It's been quite some time since I'd last spoken to my BPD ex. When I block someone. Members Online 222energy If they discarded you they likely have a new supply. Upon talking to a therapist known as coach Margaret Foley, who has worked with many folks with BPD over the years. A chronological breakdown. $50K divorce settlement plus about $5K in assorted divorce costs. Borderline Personality Disorder isn’t being cute and ‘clingy’ and ‘adorably needy’. It is more likely that beyond that honeymoon phase, you are incompatible. So I met up with BPD ex last week. desertdilbert. . She never admitted to cheating but she all of a sudden had odd hours, excuses for schedule changes that didn't make sense, lived on her phone and all of a sudden kept it very private (changed password, etc), and I ended up It strains my current marriage sometimes because my ex can be a constant presence sometimes. My guess is you are not NC. Now having been out the relationship I'm so grateful and blessed we didn't have a child Bpd ex My bpd ex comes back every x weeks/months goes into full femine and lovingmode and tells me no one she meets or friends/family comes close. My uBPD/NPDexgf displayed obsessive stalking behaviors during both of our extended breakups (approx 3 months & 4 months). If 40% of borderlines fell into that category, I wouldn't be surprised. We had agreed to a month of not seeing each other because I had No contact is really, really rough for those with BPD. The fact that they aren’t capable of healthy adult love is both a blessing and a curse for you. You'll find little things coming back to you that made you feel awful. I see her. Pretty sad & frustrating to think how much your ex has slandered you to people you used to know. This is extremely common that the extreme explosive behavior comes at the time of the split with Quiet BPD. I feel terrible because my wife didn't ask for any of this; she's a wonderful step parent and even more wonderful partner. My therapist recommended getting another person in my household to tell her to go away rather than interacting with her personally. But the experience of seeing my exes' ideas, goals, and even values change My BPD ex hit me up last night and I blocked her. You’re free, especially if you don’t have a kid with them. Last hoover attempt was after 2 years, during this time there were subtle attempts to lure me in, but just as the last one I ignore them completely. We…. We actually only saw each other 2-3 times This may cause your ex to freak out at what she's lost and desperately try to win you back. Whole thing seems like a blur. It's common, they will often leave an Ex on the back burner until they need a source of attention and reach out. bj eg ba mu wi de zq yp jk ki